Direction

Feeling: certainty

Farout, you know whilst I'm in bed, doing my little thinking about random shiet thing that i do, I always think of great topics which I like to discuss on my blog, but then i forget to my blog becomes rlly boring and shiet :( sorry guys. Incase you haven't already realised:

1. My memory sucks ass! (no joke)

2. I have insomnia 8) hence why I am always tired (I never stop thinking) And lately there has been so much shit on my mind, I didn't sleep the whole night once.

CAN someone please tell me how to get music player for your own music on your blog? :)

The end of another chapter

It was fun while it lasted. I think i needed a bit of excitement in my life for a brief period. Thanks for flattering me, it made me feel better. But also, you gave me so much drama for nothing, oh well, I don't think I wanted to act on it anyway :). I wasted the past month on the basis of curiousity, stupid girl. But in the end I think it was a good chapter, a useful chapter, allowed me to see things alot more clearly. Yeh guys, boys are a waste of time, unless your super sure :).

HSC depression kicks in

I spent all of tues night studying for my test on financials and binomials. On wed the lesson began with a quick revision quiz. I couldn't remember anything, complete BLANK. So that totally through me off and my tutor said I looked extremely nervous -_-. Exam begins and I cannot remember how to even begin the question or which method/formula so use. 30mins left and I haven't answered any financial questions. I hate problem solving, I suck at interpreting the questions. My tutor smiles at me and I feel like I'm storming out and crying. Exam ends, the other smart girls expect to get 75%. I'll be lucky to get 5%. My tutor says he's sure I did fine and points out how down I look. I almost cried as I walked through strath plaza. I tell my Mum and she says "well you'll need financials for business so you better get better!" majorly pissed me off, so when she casually asked me about school I told her "don't talk to me" hehehe. Apologies in advance Min for failing :(. You shall either think I didn't study ( but i did! :( I just suck ) or suggest I need help with everything. Def NOT looking forward to wed =/.

So yeh after that I just started thinking about the HSC, and the direction I'm going in atm. Not happy with it guys. And that test just made me feel like I was so useless and even if I do study, I still do shit. I realised I have never been satisfied with myself, although I'm my biggest critic, I definately can work harder. I know I say this whilst blogging, haha but I really want to try now, I just hope I can do it. Theres nothing i despise more than studying, those who enjoy it, WTF! haha :)

This is why I love you guys
So whilst in my depressive state, a few friend's were worried and asked if I was ok. Tried to motivate me. Thanks to viv, lisa and fi for taking me out. Not a great start to the whole "study" thing but I think I really needed that release.

Notes to myself:

1. email indo cp.35

2. give bernii history notes

3. finish in the skin of a lion

4. study maths both school and discovery -_-

5. legal notes

6. biz hwk

This is some crazy ass spider I saw at like midnight when i was watering the garden

And this is the massive web (duno if you can see) but it went from my my Mum's office to the house which is like roughly 6m apart, fkn giant leap for spider x), I still don't get how he did it.

Random chatswood day a couple week's ago :) Rens came makeup shopping hehe (Y)

See angus, I'm slightly nice :) I only loaded it on my blog hehe
Awsome english class !

I think I'll continue to do a weekly blog, unless I get a sudden urge to express myself, that's if i have the time :(. Eunice you're insane, a blog a day, I don't understand how you can be bothered haha I'm just like ahhh cbf :). Anyways hope you're all well and I didn't bore you :]

Selamat malam.